July 11

“But the subtle forms of self-life that would ruin us if left undiscovered and unchecked are often most vigorous in those whose outward walk is all that could be desired, and it sometimes takes sharp discipline to uproot them....He loves us too much to permit any evil to linger undiscovered and uncured in our natures, and He will probe us sharply before He will allow our hurt to be healed.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 7/11

I have felt this probing that Hannah refers to.  Just when I think my wound has healed the scab is ripped off and a festering infection is revealed.  I never thought of it as God’s doing.  But I can see now that He wants my wound to heal from the inside out.  Too often I apply rationalization to “clean up” my wound, bandage myself up, and go on my way without ever having turned the hurt over to the Lord.  Later when the bitterness that has grown just under the surface begins to trouble me, I find myself applying more rationalization and more bandaging.  It’s a wonder I don’t have this huge bump on my heart from all my attempts to heal.  Unfortunately, I do have a bump but it’s grown inward and constricts the “life-giving flow of blood”, making me even more miserable.  This is why God must probe and use his sharp instruments of discipline to help me heal.  I’ll have to remember this the next time I question what God’s doing in my life.

“My wounds grow foul and fester because of my foolishness, I am utterly bowed down and prostrate; all the day I go about mourning.  For my loins are filled with burning, and there is no soundness in my flesh.  I am utterly spent and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart.”  Psalm 38:5-9