December 14

“However things may look, we always know that God must give the best because He is God and can do no other.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 12/1

This statement in itself should be enough to stab me in the heart.  There in my wound I see my own willfulness--my refusal to lay hold of God.  Any want I have is my own doing and is the direct result of my pride....I’m trying to train my youngest son to close the door on his bathroom cabinet.  I decided the only way he’s going to learn is for me to require him to leave whatever he’s doing and go close it because my friendly reminders have not taught him to close the door before he leaves the room.  After a week and countless trips to close the door after the fact I found the door open after he left for school.  I’m not surprised.  He’s just like his mother!  God has given me plenty of opportunities to hear his teaching and to obey it.  He’s given me experiences in which to practice these lessons, yet I still do not do what I know I should do. But all is not lost.  God’s grace is larger than my sin and He has provided a way for me to be restored to Him.  When my son comes home from school today I will put my arms around him and tell him how much I love him.  Hopefully, his pride won’t be so overblown that when he sees the door he left open, he will quietly close it and resolve to remember next time.

“Or do you presume upon the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience?  Do you not know God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?”  Romans 2:4

June 3

“To repent means to stop going one direction, to turn around completely, and to go the opposite way....Repentance indicates a decisive change, not merely a wishful resolution.”  H. Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-by-Day, 6/3

The keyword is “decisive”.  For those of us who have a difficult time making decisions this presents a problem.  To make a decision is to make up one’s mind.  This is my problem, too.  To make up my mind requires that I let go of some other way of thinking.  I’m a saver by nature--at least it feels like my nature.  My house and life betray me!  I use to think that once my mother passed on (a saver big time) I would no longer feel compelled to save everything I ever owned--from pieces of paper to furniture.  When she was alive I could “hear” her reasons in my head for not throwing this or that away.  But even though she is no longer with me in body, she is still with me in thought, and I continue to keep things for “just in case”.  When I get to the point of feeling totally inundated I make what I call a decision to clean out the clutter.  But I rarely get rid of very much.  Likewise, my repentance often proves to be wishful thinking rather than a true changing of my mind about things.  Before we can act differently we have to think differently, otherwise our thoughts will sabotage our new way of doing things.  I realize now that it is fear that keeps me from changing my mind.  I’ve grown comfortable with the way I think even though it’s not “working” for me.  Lord, I know that I can only find true comfort in You.  May I make the right decision today about that and not change my mind!

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all Comfort...”  1 Corinthians 1:3