August 28

“Our friend may love us and tell us so and give us continual proof, but unless we believe in their love we shall never really perceive it or possess it.  Faith is necessary to the possession of human love, and faith is equally necessary for the possession of divine love.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 8/27

Hannah’s words this morning are showing me just how intrinsic my lack of trust is.  Perhaps it is due to the chaotic childhood I had.  I could not depend on any of the adults in my life. My father was an alcoholic who would have periods of soberness.  My mother gave all her attention to him and my younger brother.  Besides all that, we moved often.  Except for 10th and 11th grades, I was in a different school every year after fourth grade. It’s obvious I learned early on to depend only on myself.  Even though I came to Christ by age eight, I was never discipled and therefore did not understand the role of the Holy Spirit.  It was not until I was 28 that I began to become aware of Him in me and found out that He was Who would change me into His likeness—not me.  Then I spent the next 20 years learning to give back this control to Him.  The last five years have been my rebellion years.   I can see I’m making progress!  It’s obvious that Self knows its time is nearly up.  I feel on the brink of giving my life entirely to God and I’m excited.  I just hope it doesn’t take another 20 years to complete it! 

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for God is at work in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”  Philippians 2:12, 13

June 26

“Impatience is lack of love in us.  And only by waiting upon God, can we know love.  Love is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit of God, as we are willing to open our hearts to God’s touch.”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 6/26

Eugenia’s statement baffles me.  At first glance I cannot comprehend how lack of patience is the same thing as lack of love.  But then she illustrates her point by explaining how each year we wait for the leaves to turn their brilliant fall colors, but the truth is, the color is always there.  We just can’t see them until the leaves stop making so much chlorophyll.  It’s the manufacturing of this green substance that hides the colors from us.  As I think about this I realize that because I’ve been reconciled with God and His Holy Spirit now lives in me, my heart is like those leaves.  When I am impatient I am not trusting my life to God.  And if I am not trusting God I am not loving Him.  Just as I must wait for the beautiful colors to be revealed each year in the leaves, I must be patient and trust God to reveal all that is beautiful in my heart.  He has already placed all the possibilities for my life there.  Now, I must work out my salvation by patiently waiting on Him to act on my behalf.  It’s in responding to His love that my beauty is uncovered for the world to see and enjoy.

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for God is at work in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”  Philippians 2:12, 13

April 22

“A trial comes, or a disappointment, and instead of recognizing it as God’s servant, sent to bring us some blessing from his hand, we bow down to it as our tyrannical master and let it crush us into darkness and despair.” Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets, 4/22

Once again Hannah has turned my perspective 180 degrees!  A trial or disappointment a servant of God?  A servant.  I must think on this for a while.  A servant does his master’s bidding.  If he doesn’t he’s removed from his position or punished severely, depending on the disposition of the master.  A servant also only does what his master instructs--nothing more, nothing less.  This is very comforting to me.  I have come to believe this to be true for trials--that they are allowed into my life for my ultimate good.  But I’d not thought about this in regard to my disappointments.  Were my expectations from God?  Or me?  I’ve often wondered why I’d have such high expectations only to suffer disappointment. Now I don’t even have to ask that question because it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that the disappointment is God’s servant, and it will do God’s bidding in my life.  It will either bring me to some knowledge of God or myself or to a place that is necessary for my future blessing. 

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for God is at work in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”  Philippians 2:12, 13