October 6

“God is every minute yearning to fill us with Himself.  But He waits until we see our utter helplessness.  He waits for the time of our true hungering and thirsting after righteousness.”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 9/22

Why does He have to wait until then?  I’m trying to lose an extra 20 pounds that I do not need.  If I lose it, I will weigh what I weighed two years ago when I thought I was fat.  Now I don’t think I was so fat at that weight.  I think once I get there I’m going to be content with that weight.  In the meantime I’m dealing with the desire to eat when I’m not hungry.  Since I’m eating when I’m no longer hungry, there’s nothing to tell me to stop--like feeling full.  I think this principal applies to being filled with God Himself.  If my desire to be filled with God isn’t because I’m empty, the hunger is being caused by something else.  Only true emptiness of self causes us to hunger and thirst after God.  Just like my “grazing” when I’m bored and near the kitchen is an attempt to satisfy my boredom rather than any hunger, my ego’s hunger will never lead me to God because it does not want to be filled with God Himself.  It may want what God has to offer--peace, love, security--but never God Himself.  To do so would mean it could no longer sit on the throne of my life.  So as I seek to lose this extra weight, I will remind myself that it is in hungering and thirsting after righteousness--and not filling myself with junk food--that I will receive all that I could possibly need or want--God Himself.

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst.’”  John 6:35

July 22

“Few people realize the effect of thought upon the condition of the soul, that it is in fact its food, the substance from which it evolves its strength, health, and beauty, or upon which it may become weak, unhealthy, and deformed.  The things we think about are the things we feed upon.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets, 7/22

This is a good way to look at thoughts--as food.  Behind every action that is not involuntary is a thought, but we often are not even aware of this.  We claim ignorance to why we do some of the things we do.  But how can this be?  Only breathing and other bodily functions can take place without thinking.  Everything else is something we decide to do whether or not we’re conscious of it or not.  This is why I was very careful about what my children saw when they were young.  But it never occurred to me to be concerned about what they saw “second hand”.  Just the TV news was enough to traumatize them without my realizing it.  Somewhere along the way one of my sons developed an intense fear of sharks, and we don’t even live near the ocean!  This is why the things we see and hear are important.  We must make a point to think on what is lovely and good, keeping our eyes upon the Lord, because He is the bread of life--not just for our salvation, but for our souls to feed upon and find nourishment in this life.

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst.’” John 6:35

March 18

“The feeding with manna described in Exodus 16 is typical of the soul of the believer feeding on Christ.....And to feed on him, and not on [our frames, nor feelings, nor experiences], requires that we should turn away from them wholly and not dwell on them, examine them, or even think about them...” Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets of the Christian Life, 3/18

This morning I woke up almost two hours before I needed to and lay there thinking about all the things that could go wrong for our son if he buys a house....what if he gets sick before his health insurance takes affect....what if he gets sick and can’t work.....what if the neighborhood deteriorates and he can’t sell when he wants to.....and on and on.  When I start to rerun my thoughts I know it’s time to get up, turn on the light, and start writing in my journal and reading my Bible.  But before I even got to these things God’s thoughts came to the forefront of my mind, and I began to “feed” on Christ and what I heard instead was:  “This (fill in the blank) only SEEMS bad.”  What God was telling me is that no matter what worst-case scenario we might dream up, it could only seem bad, because the truth is, for us who love God, everything comes through Him and ultimately will be for our good.

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst.” John 6:35