December 22

“That which all the reproaches and accusations of [Job’s] friends had failed to do, one sight of God accomplished in a moment...He saw the Lord, but he also saw himself, as he was in the Lord’s presence, and all his self-righteousness turned into filthy rags in an instant.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets, 12/13

We can spend our whole lives examining ourselves and finding our faults and never change.  Likewise, we can spend our whole lives seeking to know God and never change.  Now I understand just what it means to come into God’s presence.  It’s not just finding out about Him.  It’s not even desiring to know Him.  And just confessing our sins does not put us in God’s presence.  Far too often we confess our sins and claim to be sorry about them for the wrong reason.  What we want is for God to “make us look good.”  It looks humble enough on the outside, but that is what self-righteousness is all about--looking good.  It has nothing to do with being good.  Only the humble or humbled can stand in God’s presence.  When Jesus admonished the rich, young ruler to sell all he possessed this is what He was requiring.  As long as we depend on anything other than God Himself, our motive will be to glorify self.  To come into God’s presence means we must come empty-handed.  We must!  Or else our hands are not free to pick up His righteousness and all that He desires to give us through it.

“He has shown strength with his arm, he has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts, he has put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted those of low degree; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent empty away.”  Luke 1:51-53

December 5

“Have you been in a predicament from which you cried out with a ‘great shout’ to heaven for help, and even after your ‘great shout’ and declaration of faith, the enemy still ran you down?....Do we sometimes almost superstitiously cry to heaven instead of to God Himself?”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 11/12

This “crying to heaven” that Eugenia speaks of never puts us in touch with God, really.  We may believe it does and thereby we receive some comfort, but I can’t help but believe the only time we can actually receive anything from God in our time of need is when we actually make contact with Him.  There’s a verse in a song that always comes to my mind... “to come into His presence is to be changed.”  We can’t help but be changed when we stand before God.  His very nature requires it.  The key, then, is whether or not we are actually in His presence.  For me, those times have always been marked by a true humility--not a feigned humility.  We humans have gotten pretty clever at acting how we need to “be” in order to get what we want.  Unfortunately, we’re so good at it that we begin to believe we are that person.  I think that’s why eccentric people peak our interest.  Their honesty in being themselves despite criticism is refreshing even though we may not approve of their behavior.  I think most of us really want to be genuine, but are afraid to be.  God, on the other hand, has declared that we must be genuine in order to come into His presence.  It is there that He can change us to be good.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”  2 Corinthians 3:18

December 2

“Each stage of our lives offers its own fresh opportunities.  Face with courage the approach of old age, both for yourselves and for those dear to you, realizing that it may bring wisdom, serenity and detachment...Bring the whole of your daily life under the ordering of the spirit of Christ.  Live adventurously.  In every situation seek to be aware of the presence of God, praying that spiritual energies in yourself and in others may be released for the furtherance of God’s kingdom.”  Advices, 1964, Daily Readings from Quaker Writings, 11/9

This Quaker Advice is especially relevant for me because I am indeed approaching “old age”.  In addition, I’m entering a new stage of my life because my youngest child will be graduating from high school in less than three years.  I often find myself wanting to ask my mother what things were like for her during this phase of her life.  Then I remember she’s no longer here.  I never thought to ask her before she died nine years ago because I hadn’t entered this stage yet.  This is one of those “bits of wisdom” I’d like to impart to my children now:  Don’t live as though you know everything already.  Because I felt I had a handle on life at the moment it never occurred to me that I might one day be caught off guard.  This doesn’t apply just to the many questions I wished I’d asked my mother, but also to the questions I need to be asking God right now.  The only way I will know there is even a question to be asked is to seek to be in His presence continually.  I mustn’t wait until later when I think I need God.  I need to know right now that I need Him all the time.

“Seek the LORD while he may be found, call upon him while he is near;”  Isaiah 55:6

October 30

“You are children of light, now walk as such.  That is, be what you are.  In our relations with God this is especially necessary, because these all exist in the unseen spiritual region, and can, of course, only be real to us as our faith makes them so.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets, 10/11

Hannah also writes in another devotional for today:  “Someone has said that the only thing necessary for the children of God to do in order to enter into full possession of their inheritance in Christ is simply to be what they are...”  God reveals Himself in what I call real-time.  Our world is increasingly eliminating our face-to-face encounters with people.  Everything is being automated--no longer does a real person answer a business phone and our banking is done at a machine.  Even our groceries can be paid for at a machine.  Add to that e-mail and texting and we have very little actual contact with people.  In the past, at least handwritten letters allowed the recipient to “see” and “touch” something that was actually of that person--not a facsimile.  I can only image what effect this will have on the next generation.  What I’m getting at is this.....It is the nuances of our interaction with people that helps to shape us into who we are.  If we are treated kindly we will more than likely grow up to be kind people.  If we are treated badly, we will either grow up to behave badly ourselves or develop some sort of mask to cover up the low opinion we were given of ourselves.  In the same vein, by interacting with God in faith, we can’t help but become who He says we are.  So we must have face-to-face contact with God and then believe we are who He says we are.

“Thou dost show me the path of life; in thy presence there is fullness of joy, in thy right hand are pleasures for evermore.”  Psalm 16:11

October 22

“But He will withdraw the sense of His presence in order to cause us to ‘search for [Him] with all our hearts.’”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 10/5

Eugenia is expounding on the Song of Solomon (5:5, 6) and how the beloved represents God.  When his lover finally gets up out of bed to let him in, he’s not there.  The beloved, God, has not forsaken his lover, but is helping her to come to the point of searching for him with all of her heart.  I can understand this.  Too often I seek out God only when it’s convenient.  Even worse, I only get up and let Him in when I feel like it.  If it requires too much effort for me to do something for Him, I can become quite lazy.  I will have to keep this image of no longer finding Him at the door in the front of my mind the next time I’m feeling lazy.  I think this is what being grateful is all about.  If we truly have a grateful heart we won’t take God for granted, even for a moment.  We will respond as soon as we hear His Voice or see His Hand.  But what we must not be confused about is how He presents Himself to us.  It is rarely in some mystical, miracle-like fashion.  Instead, it is in the needy person--the lonely, the poor, the hungry and the worn out.  Let us rise from our beds and answer the knock at our heart’s door.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”  Revelation 3:20

October 4

“We recognize that the interaction between people provides one of the most fruitful areas for coming into contact with God.”  Martin Cobin, 1961, Daily Readings from Quaker Writings, 9/20

Saturday I tagged along with my son to the Farmer’s Market a few blocks from his house in north Baltimore.  After looking things over I decided to wait in the shade while he finished his shopping.  A frail-looking elderly man, walking with a cane, approached me and asked if I had any spare change.  I had to ask him to repeat what he said because he spoke so softly.  I normally do not give to panhandlers because I know too many are con artists, but this gentleman did not give me this impression.  He was clean and dressed of average means and did not look as though he was destitute, yet I felt compelled to give to him.  I reached into my purse and handed him a dollar, feeling I’d done a good deed for giving him more than he’d asked for.  He thanked me and then continued to mill around the market.  I had plenty of time to act on the feelings of remorse that invaded my thoughts....I was perfectly able to give him $5 or even $20....it wasn’t too late.....It wasn’t until I was in bed that night that I realized I’d missed a wonderful opportunity to be generous not only with my money but with myself.  I could have been friendly and struck up a conversation with him.  Perhaps he had a need that his nice appearance did not convey.  But even more than that I may very well have missed an opportunity to come in contact with God.

“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’”  Matthew 25:40

September 9

“Don’t ever judge God’s love based on your circumstances.  Instead, evaluate your circumstances from the perspective of God’s love.”  H. Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-by-Day, 9/6

This is putting your faith in action.  It takes faith out of the realm of platitudes and puts it into a way of living.  How could we ever get discouraged in the midst of any circumstance if we looked at the circumstance from the perspective of God’s love for us?  Our discouragement, then, must be directly related to our perceived “need” to be in control.  We have our lives planned out and then things get changed, and we don’t like that very much.  It’s the me, me, me way of life.  I discovered this in a big way when I gave birth to my last child and things didn’t go the way I wanted them to.  It was through that experience I had the belief shaken out of me that God’s love was based on my circumstances.  Since then, however, I’ve still had to battle this wrong way of looking at God’s love because the circumstances that lead me into this sin have come upon me in less dramatic ways.  I hardly notice that I’ve slipped into discouragement until I’m there and have become consumed by the resulting depression.  How much better it would be for me to keep the belief continually before me that God’s love and my circumstances are linked by the outcome both produce together in my life.  In accepting God’s love--including His “tough” love--I will grow in my faith, which in turn keeps me in God’s presence.

“Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”  James 1:2-4

September 7

“....God can give us peace even during the hours of great weeping and pain and heartbreak.  He can do this because He is always with us.  God’s peace and comfort and strength in time of trouble are not gifts from God, given out as we give gifts.  They are God Himself.” Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 9/4

This is a distinction that we must realize before we can fully trust God.  This is why I am disturbed to hear a Christian pray for God to “be with” them or their loved ones.  We do not have to ask God for this.  If we are asking for assurance, we are telling God He can’t be trusted.  What we are really praying for without realizing it is for us to be aware that God is with us.  What is so wonderful about realizing that God gives Himself to us rather than just giving us a peaceful state is that it takes our focus off the result and puts it on the Giver.  If the gift were the peace itself, I’d define that peace based on my past experience.  Or if I have a grand imagination, I’d base it on some pie-in-the-sky expectation.  I’d be so focused on my own idea of peace that I could very easily miss God’s peace.  By understanding that it is God Himself who has been given to me, then as I focus on God, who does not change,  I will experience His Peace, His Love, His Power, and His Strength to the fullest degree possible because God is all these things.

“If you then, who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”  Luke 11:13

March 23

“Who can know the depth and intensity of the heart of God?....If you will remain alert in prayer, Jesus will share his heart with you.”  H. Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-by-Day, 3/23

I think because we dwell so much on the fact that God came to earth as the man Jesus in order to take on our sin, we neglect to realize He is also the God who came to earth to allow us to see Him face to face for the first time.  Before then man could not look upon God without being blinded or struck dead.  His great love for us is not only shown in His dying on the cross for our sin, but in the fact that He wants us to understand Him so that we can love Him back--not just fear Him.  I used to be turned off by the people who seemed all mushy about Jesus.  I felt they focused too much on Jesus the man and not enough on God our heavenly Father.  I felt this was a form of idol worship.  But now I believe God “allows” this, if our hearts are truly given to Him.  Very few people can love the ethereal.  Throughout history only those we came to call Mystics could do this.  The rest of mankind needs the flesh and blood of Jesus in order to lay hold of God.  In doing so, He can share what is in His heart and we will be His emissaries of loving care.

“Beloved, we are God’s children now; it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”  1 John 3:2

March 6

“When you see the unusual in the midst of the mundane, don’t continue business as usual.  It may be that God has ordained that moment to be a life-changing time for you and those around you.”  H. Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-by-Day, 3/6

Blackaby illustrated this with Moses’ noticing the bush was burning.  It was an ordinary thing, but then Moses noticed it wasn’t being consumed--not an ordinary thing.  It was in that moment that God chose to speak to him.  This made me think about our winter.  This is the first time I can remember that we’ve had snow almost continuously on the ground.  Usually our snowfalls are gone within a week.  So one day as I was walking down the driveway to get the mail I noticed scores of animal tracks in the snow--all shapes and sizes.  The deer tracks weren’t a surprise for I see the deer all the time--the same with dog and cat tracks.  But I also noticed tracks that could have been from a raccoon.  Bird tracks, squirrel tracks, and who knows what else crisscrossed the yard.  This morning I saw a mouse run across the snow-covered yard because it stood out on the white background.  What I’ve come to realize is that this place is like Grand Central Station every night, but I just couldn’t see it before.  This must be what God’s Hand is like in my life.  It’s always there guiding, protecting, ready to comfort, but I just don’t notice it because I haven’t stopped to notice. I’m too much into myself and my plans to see God working before the dawn. I think now, even after the snow has melted, I’ll continue to “see” all the animals that visit my yard every night.

“...and he was transfigured before them, and his garments became glistening, intensely white as snow...” Mark 9:2b, 3a

January 20

“Even if you don’t feel anything, go on about your day, claiming His Presence every time a shadow crosses your mind.”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 1/8

I’m having one of those days when I don’t feel God’s Presence.  He can’t possibly be in me today my feelings tell me--not MY God.  MY God would make me feel bright and cheery.  So this whole notion of “acting as if” He is in me and I in him seems exactly like that---pretending.  But claiming God Presence has a totally different feel to it.  When we claim something it is because it’s already ours.  It’s either waiting for us somewhere else and we have to go pick it up, or it’s right here and we just need to raise our hand and say here I am, that’s mine.  So, Lord, I’m raising my hand and trusting, by faith, that your Presence will shine through me even though I don’t feel it.

“I will not leave you desolate; I will come to you.”  John 14:18

January 4

“When was the last time you were physically affected by the reality that almighty God just spoke directly to you?  John lost all physical strength...Paul fell to the ground...Moses trembled...Peter fell down at Jesus knees....”  Henry T. Blackaby and Richard Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-By-Day

I stopped reading the above devotional at this point and became lost in the image in my head.  I realized that I couldn’t say, based on what happened to John and Paul and Moses and Peter, I’d ever been in God’s Presence.  I’d been on the fringe peering in, observing God, but I could not say I was actually IN God’s presence.  I then saw myself receiving the federal jury duty notice in the mail the day before and feeling anxious, going to the kitchen and finding something to eat to relieve the stress I was experiencing.  The thought of having to drive to Baltimore in rush hour traffic for the 5-week trial, of being asked to help decide another’s future, was overwhelming to me.    As soon as these thoughts presented themselves, it was as though a curtain was opened to me and God was revealing that the anxiety I was feeling was not due to the stress of the impending circumstances, but instead that I had been standing in His Presence at the very moment I felt most helpless!  But instead of running to God for help I ran to the kitchen to find my strength.  What God had just shown me was that when I feel helpless--which is why I feel anxious--I am actually in His Presence and that my response should be to worship Him as the saints of old had!

“Thou dost show me the path of life; in thy presence there is fulness of joy, in thy right hand are pleasures for ever more.” Psalm 16:11