December 24

“We are so incapable of judging with regard to our own happiness, or that of others, that it should lead us to a patient acquiescence in the Divine will; a resignation which would not only enable us to say, ‘Thy will be done,’ but to feel that submission of mind which would preserve us in calm composure.  Things which appear to our present unhappiness and disadvantage have frequently at a future period proved a benefit, and we have been led to acknowledge that the Lord only knows what is best for us.”  Margaret Woods, 1777, Quaker Readings, 12/16

That must be at the root of our problem....we must think we’re capable of “judging with regard to our own happiness”.  That’s what egotism is, though, isn’t it?  We want what we want when we want it because we think we know best so we "stand up for our rights".  The thing is we come into this world with that belief.  A two-year-old’s tantrum is a classic example.  So how is it we grow up continuing to believe that we know what’s best.  I’m sure it has something to do with the poor example adults set for children and our inability to discipline properly.  In addition, we’re told we need to help our children become independent--we’re to give them some space to do a little rebelling so that they can separate from us.  That’s all well and good, as they say, but we mustn’t take them from depending on us to depending on themselves.  It’s God we must be teaching them to depend on.  How do we do that?  By example and through discipline.

“Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you men of double mind.”  James 4:7, 8

November 11

“We must give up all care of our own, by an utter surrender of everything to the Divine Caretaker, and by an implicit trust in him; and then we must just simply let him know our wants and our needs from day to day.  If we do this honestly and persistently, the result will unfailingly be that the peace of God will keep our hearts and minds.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets, 10/22

It occurred to me this morning that God may WANT me to write children’s stories.  I’ve been feeling frustrated that new stories haven’t been coming to me and that what I have written doesn’t seem that special to me anymore.  Because I’ve focused so much on being published as an indication of whether or not I’m to write, I’ve lost the initial joy I felt when I wrote that first story six years ago. There are many things I could be doing with my time, which I have lots of now that all but one of my children are grown. So, if I could settle whether or not my writing is a legitimate pursuit, I know I would be “freed” to pursue it.  Hannah has reminded me that I must let God know my wants--not because He wouldn’t know otherwise--but because in doing so I will be surrendering them to Him.  Once I’ve placed my desire to write--and even to be published--on His altar, I can trust that whatever happens, happens because He feels it’s what is best.  When I share my stories with others in the class I am taking I can receive whatever criticism they may give because my stories are no longer mine, but God’s.  

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that in due time he may exalt you.  Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you.”  1 Peter 5:6, 7

"Let's Forget About Ourselves"

                    

October 12

“What can He do but take possession of the soul that surrenders itself to Him?  And of course He sanctifies that which is His own.  Everything given to God becomes, by that very act, holy and set apart for His use alone.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 9/28

How many times do we “take” our problems to God, and then leave with them?  We think just letting God look at them will some how make all the difference.  It’s sort of like our children running up to us with a cut on their finger, then running off before we have a chance to clean and bandage it.  Matthew 23:19 says the altar makes the gift sacred.  If we would but see our troubles as gifts from God meant to be put on His Holy Altar so that they can be sanctified, we would receive help in our time of need.  Yesterday while singing the song ^♫Just Forget About Yourself^♫ I realized that looking after myself originated in my childhood because my parents, while there physically, were not there emotionally.  I also realized I continued that behavior into my adulthood.  Now, I felt God was calling me to stop looking after myself and instead to let Him look after me. The only way I will ever be able to change my old self-reliant habit is to make sure I never take back something I’ve laid on God’s altar.  Each time I find myself running back to retrieve it I will remind myself that it belongs to God now.  It’s His, not mine.  And I will praise Him.

“Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.”  Hebrews 13:15

August 30

“If we were gifted with eyes that could see the unseen kingdom of evil, I believe we would discover that a terror and faintness have fallen upon all the forces of hell, and that they see, in every man and woman of faith, a sure and triumphant conqueror.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets, 8/29

Yes, this would make a difference in my life.  I believe I would live a triumphant Christian life.  So as I think about it and admit that I don’t live this kind of life I have to ask myself, why?  I believe the truth of what Hannah says so why don’t I experience a victorious life?  If I were gifted with these special eyes to be able to see the unseen, then certainly any disobedience on my part would be flat out rebellion and therefore evil.  But I cannot see with my eyes.  However, before I wish for these special eyes I must see something of the utmost importance.  In our entertainment world today the film industry is able to deceive us in miraculous ways.  Images can be computer-generated that make us think we are seeing the real thing.  Even before all this technology film could take us into a make-believe world with a splice here and a splice there.  So, just because I might be able to see the unseen kingdom is no guarantee that what I’m seeing is real.  Satan is a master of disguises--how could I ever be sure of what I was seeing.  I understand why faith is the only answer.  My faith in God is what will enable me to see all I need to see.  I can put my trust in my faith if it is in God, the creator of all.  All I need believe is that God loves me, and I will be able to follow His direction around and through all that terrifies me.  But I also see now that part of seeing is first admitting that I am terrified.

“For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  Hebrews 4:15, 16

August 28

“Our friend may love us and tell us so and give us continual proof, but unless we believe in their love we shall never really perceive it or possess it.  Faith is necessary to the possession of human love, and faith is equally necessary for the possession of divine love.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 8/27

Hannah’s words this morning are showing me just how intrinsic my lack of trust is.  Perhaps it is due to the chaotic childhood I had.  I could not depend on any of the adults in my life. My father was an alcoholic who would have periods of soberness.  My mother gave all her attention to him and my younger brother.  Besides all that, we moved often.  Except for 10th and 11th grades, I was in a different school every year after fourth grade. It’s obvious I learned early on to depend only on myself.  Even though I came to Christ by age eight, I was never discipled and therefore did not understand the role of the Holy Spirit.  It was not until I was 28 that I began to become aware of Him in me and found out that He was Who would change me into His likeness—not me.  Then I spent the next 20 years learning to give back this control to Him.  The last five years have been my rebellion years.   I can see I’m making progress!  It’s obvious that Self knows its time is nearly up.  I feel on the brink of giving my life entirely to God and I’m excited.  I just hope it doesn’t take another 20 years to complete it! 

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for God is at work in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”  Philippians 2:12, 13

August 24

“If we examine the causes of the rebellious and complaining thoughts that sometimes beset us, we will find that they always begin in discouragement.  The truth is that discouragement always involves a kind of speaking against God.  It implies some sort of failure on his part to act the way we think he should.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets, 8/24

I was feeling discouraged today.  It seemed to come out of the blue.  It was over something that has been a problem for some time but I thought I was dealing with it just fine.  But then it hit me like a ton of bricks and it took me hours to regain my composure.  Looking back over the days leading up to today I can see some important signs that I ignored--signs that discouragement was lying in wait for me.  One was an expectation I had that wasn’t met.  I tucked it away rather than giving it to God.  Then, because I was on vacation, I got behind on writing these devotionals.  I’ve come to depend on them to keep me daily on-course.  Writing always helps to solidify what I’m learning better than just thinking about it.  But if I really listen to what Hannah is saying I see an underlying belief that is like an undercurrent in my life--always lying in wait to grab me by the ankle and pull me under.  An undercurrent that is deadly.  She says that my discouragement is really all about the fact that I believe that God has failed to do not only what I want but also what I think He should do.   Lord, I confess this desire of mine to call the shots in my life.  May my heart be humbled in reverence to Your almightiness.

“All these things my hand has made, and so all these things are mine, says the LORD, but this is the man to whom I will look, he that is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”  Isaiah 66:2

August 18

“God wants us to trust Him daily with our needs.  This trust does not make us poor planners or careless with our futures, unprepared to face what may come.  Rather, it keeps our relationship with the Lord in its proper perspective as He reminds us daily of our dependence upon Him.”  H. Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-by-Day, 8/18

This is why we’re to pray for our daily bread. Christ is also known as the Bread of Life and the Living Water. This morning I was reading Jeremiah 1:13:  “For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that hold no water.”  I have not forsaken the Lord, but I have hewed out my own cisterns in an attempt to “collect” this Living Water.  This scripture in Jeremiah has shown me that just like the Israelites could not collect more than a day’s worth of manna, I cannot store up Living Water.  It is these cisterns that are getting in the way of my needs being met by God--they cannot hold Living Water.  It was at this point God showed me that my cisterns represented my attempts to control His life in me and the only way I’m to ever experience Him as Living Water and Daily Bread is to give up this attempt at control and take the attitude of what will be will be.  But this is not a giving up as in defeat.  This is my Victory!

“For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that overcomes the world, our faith.”  1 John 5:4 

August 14

“It is of vital importance to the children of God that they understand that God’s strength can be made perfect only in human weakness.  For in the spiritual life the natural man never can feel strong in himself, and if we think we ought to, we will be continually troubled.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 8/14

The key word in the above for me is “only”.  Even though I tend to be an either/or person in most things, for some reason, when it comes to my weaknesses, I prefer to pick and choose what best caters to my whim at the moment!  I will be content with being weak and letting God’s power come through me when it fits my mood!  If I’m feeling like I don’t want to be vulnerable, I will draw on my human strength when I feel it’s taking God too long to help me.  Unfortunately for my flesh, but fortunately for my spirit, I am continually troubled.  If I weren’t, I’d not run to God eventually.  If being strong in the flesh were something I could sustain and it continued to “work for me,” then I’d never be inclined to recline on the Lord.  This is why we should not desire and therefore seek after fame and fortune.  These entities often enable us to grow stronger in the flesh thus preventing us from ever discovering just how loving and trustworthy our God is.  Lord, may I never lose my sense of need that continually fuels my desire to rest in your love.

“but He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12: 9

August 7

“If your heart is broken and contrite, give thanks.  You are among the blessed who are in a position to be healed.  Don’t complain.”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 8/9

I’ve actually reached the point of desiring this brokenness because it’s different than the brokenness I’ve been used to my whole life.  My old brokenness was a smashed ego.  Ego does not like being smashed.  It has nowhere to go and therefore lies there writhing in misery begging for mercy.  The moment it is given and it’s “back on its feet” it immediately finds a way to retaliate.  It often becomes more inflated than ever as a means of protection for some future assault.  This yo-yo type of existence eventually wears a person out.  Depression may result.  This depression sometimes can be mistaken for humility, but it is not.  The heart that is truly broken and contrite toward God experiences a blessed freedom that cannot exist otherwise here on earth.  It is a connectedness to God with a resulting peacefulness that cannot be explained in human terms.  It is truly to be desired.

“And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:7

June 17

“Christ is called our Comforter, but how many of us take a commonsense view of this name and really believe that He will not and does not leave us comfortless?....If anyone should call himself our comforter and then run away and hide himself when storms and trials come, we would think that his name of comforter was merely an empty title, and all his promises of comfort would be like idle tales.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 6/17

Hannah is absolutely right, so why then do we feel comfortless so many times?  Psychologists would have us believe it’s low self-esteem.  Because we don’t esteem ourselves highly enough we refuse God’s comfort.  We may place the reason for our low self-esteem on our parents or others, but we can't escape the fact that the reason we won't allow God to comfort us is because of our pride.  We want so much to be in control of our own lives we refuse help even when we need it desperately.  Some of us will finally accept help when we get low enough.  Others never do and live what I’ve heard coined a “living death”.  They slowly commit suicide by the choices they make until some actually commit the final act of ending their lives by their own hand.  This “living death” doesn’t have to be as drastic as drug abuse.  It can be just wasting away your life in front of the TV set.  It’s anything we do to try to escape life--from experiencing all it’s meant to be.  We can give all sorts of excuses for not stepping out of our complacency that sound legitimate, but ultimately they all come down to wanting to have control over our lives ourselves.  Let us instead call upon the name of God and receive all that He is able to give us.

“The LORD is near to all who call upon him, to all who call upon him in truth,” Psalm 145:18

Nichole Nordeman - "Just As I Am"

June 4

“[To do God’s will] may not seem sweet at the time we are obeying.  Surely the nails which bored into Jesus’ hands on the Cross were not ‘sweet’.  But He had agreed with the Father in the garden.  He was in the will of God as He hung on the Cross, and that was enough.”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 6/4

As I read this morning in the midst of a struggle I was having I suddenly got a clear picture of my problem.  I was struggling because I’d abdicated my control over something God had given me control over---my thoughts and my actions.  In doing so I’d found myself trying to control something I’d not been given control over---someone else's thoughts and actions.  No wonder I feel crazy at times.  It’s like trying to pick up a chair while you’re sitting in it when all you have to do is get out of it and then you can pick it up quite easily.  So I made a phone call and wrote an e-mail and my whole mood changed.  I’d done what I could and the rest now is in God’s Hands.  In fact, I realized that if I would just take control over the things I have control over I wouldn’t be trying to grab control of God’s area of control.  From now on I’m going to ask myself what it is I can do in that moment to make a difference.  If there isn’t anything, then I know I’ve entered God’s territory and agree with Him that this is His Will for me.  He promises to always be with me.  I can trust Him to comfort me and to guide me.

“Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”  Ephesians 5:17

April 27

“Most of us would be glad to be ‘filled with God,’ if God could just come in and ‘fill up’ the places left over from our own self-occupation.  But He is a holy God and He must have a holy place to dwell.   And He must have all of it.  If you feel you simply cannot give Him everything, at least you can begin to expose yourself to His love.”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 4/27

This “giving up the right to ourselves” is what keeps most of us from experiencing freedom in Christ.  This is why it usually doesn’t come until we are so disgusted with ourselves that we no longer care to have any “rights” to it.  Can you imagine how much grief we would save ourselves if we’d “just do it”?  Just give all of ourselves to God from the very beginning!  I know that part of my struggle has been to understand just what that means.  It’s been easier to state it in a negative way:  what not to do as opposed to what to do.  For me to say, “I trust you, Lord,” leaves too many questions as to what that means.  Instead I feel the only way to understand is to say, “Lord, I won’t insist on my own way,” or “I won’t allow myself to do this or that because it might pull me away from keeping my focus on You.”  This is what legality is all about--a set of do’s and don’ts.  To just totally rest in God’s love and let Him fill me doesn’t seem right--it’s too simple.  Therein lies our human condition--our need to earn everything and then imposing that belief on others.  No wonder we have such a stress-filled world.  No wonder, Lord, You had to turn the world upside-down.  But I no longer need wonder at all that You love me for I’ve seen Your Son.  Like the morning’s sun He has risen in my heart.

“And to know the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge, that you maybe filled with all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:19

April 6

“Fenelon says that ‘pure religion resides in the will alone.’  By this he means that as the will is the governing power in the man’s nature, if the will is set right, all the rest of the nature must come into harmony.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 4/6

Hannah says the will is the deciding power, “the king to which all that is in the man must yield obedience.”  I understand why I’ve struggled so to be obedient to God’s law of love.  My flesh cannot obey, only the Spirit of Christ in me can obey God’s law.  Even if I am able to discipline myself to the point of overcoming my flesh, the motive for my obedience will still be to glorify my flesh.  I will be able to say, “Look what I’ve done!”  God tells us in Micah 6:6-8 that He does not desire our sacrifices, but instead desires that we do justice, love kindness and to walk humbly with Him.  Flesh cannot humble itself.  It is humbled by something.  Flesh can love kindness but only to the point it receives kindness.  And as far as doing justice....flesh and doing justice are incompatible.  Flesh can mete out justice and receive justice, but it cannot do justice.  The Christian life has to be lived by Christ Himself and He can only do that in those who no longer answer to the flesh.  Our flesh--our will--must submit itself to Christ.  It is from there our obedience will spring.

“Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, ‘Sacrifices and offerings thou hast not desired, but a body hast thou prepared for me; in burnt offerings and sin offerings thou hast taken no pleasure.  Then I said, ‘Lo, I have come to do thy will, O God,’ as it is written of me in the roll of the book.”” Hebrews 10:5-7

March 26

“What are the chief characteristics of the life hid with Christ in God......Its chief characteristics are an entire surrender to the Lord and a perfect trust in Him.....it causes us to let the Lord carry our burdens and manage our affairs for us, instead of trying to do it ourselves.  In laying off your burdens, therefore, the first one you must get rid of is yourself.”  Hannah Whithall Smith, God is Enough, 3/26

This is what I wrote about a couple days ago, and in the meantime God has given me several opportunities to do just this--let him carry the burden I am to myself.  This has presented itself in the form of my relationships and the temptation to judge myself based on another’s actions.  I’ve watched myself get in a bad mood, justify my actions, condemn theirs, deny I felt hurt, and just become generally preoccupied with myself because of all the thoughts swirling around inside my head over the matter.  But then last night something different happened when I could have been thrown into a great upset.  I was reading Hannah’s chapter on the Will in her book “The Common Sense Teaching of the Bible”.  It was where I needed to be when I was tempted to follow my emotions--to be reminded that my victory was dependent on what my Will would choose.  Would I choose God’s Will or my flesh’s?  It was a “no-brainer”, as it is commonly referred to.  In fact, my ability to put my thoughts on God instead of what my brain (Self) was thinking was why I experienced victory.  I chose from my Heart--the place where my Will now resides--hid with Christ in God.

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  For you have died, and your life is hid with Christ in God.  Colossians 3:3

March 24

“What circumstances make it hard to wait for the Lord?”  Mart De Haan II, Our Daily Bread, 3/24

That was the question at the end of the devotional about Noah, Abraham and David having to wait for God’s timing.  As I examined myself to see if there was anything I was waiting for, I found that I wasn’t--not because I had everything I wanted, but because I’d given up on expecting the circumstances that had come to mind to ever change.  Was this a holy-giving-up or bury-it-giving-up?  This is what I discovered:  I had indeed given up on the people in my life ever changing and that, instead, what I was waiting for was my ability to love them unconditionally.  I could then see that this was the way to die to Self.  Self needed these people to change so that they would give me more attention and be more considerate of me--my Self.  I realized that for me to focus on being considerate rather than on whether or not they were being considerate was really what this was all about.  I’ve always thought myself to be a considerate person, but it was for the wrong reason because I was expecting consideration in return.  But now, the Lord is telling me I’m to be considerate for His sake, not my own, or even for the other person’s sake.  This will free me from the burden of having to make sure Self gets all the attention it demands--my true enemy--and instead only concern myself with trusting the Lord to work in and through me.

“To thee, O LORD, I lift up my soul.  O my God, thee I trust, let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.”  Psalm 25:1, 2

March 11

“Too often we settle for much less than what God wants to do through us.  We read in Jeremiah 32:27, ‘I am the Lord, the God of all flesh.  Is anything too hard for Me?’ and we answer, ‘No, Lord.’  Yet when we face difficult situations we begin to qualify our belief in God and lower our expectations of what God will do.”  H. Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-by-Day, 3/11

Before God does anything “through” us He does something “in” us, and that, I believe, is where our problem lies.  Our resistance to letting God work IN us to make us into vessels for His use is why we end up having lower expectations of what God will do.  How do we resist?  When we don’t live up to our potential because of laziness or fear of failure or even fear of success; or when we don’t exercise the faith we’ve been given because of laziness or fear; or when we’re disobedient due to laziness or fear. As I think about these traits--laziness and fear--I feel this need to look behind them.  My laziness might be due to fear.  But why am I afraid?  Is it because deep within I know, without a doubt, that without God I am lost.  If I know I am lost without God, but refuse to depend on Him because it might require me to submit to Him totally, I am left with rebellion as the root of why I settle for less.  My rebellion is totally within my own power to lay down.  If I would just quit rebelling, God would come in like a man-made dam that has been broken and can no longer hold back the water.  The water will flow into the dry valley and bring life to all living things.

“The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad, the desert shall rejoice and blossom;...For waters shall break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert;”  Isaiah 35:1, 6b

February 24

“Life’s heartbreaks and tragedies can put an end to our resilience, our endurance, our nerve, and bring us to our knees.  But if we put our hope in the Lord and rely on Him, He renews our strength.  The key to our endurance lies in the exchange of our limited resources for God’s limitless strength.”  David Roper, Our Daily Bread, 2/24

Our Daily Bread’s scripture today is on the Isaiah 40 passage Hannah Whitall Smith wrote about yesterday.  David Roper uses “hope” and “rely” as conditions to renewing our strength.  This has given me a new way to look at surrender.  To trust God is obviously to rely on Him.  Perhaps Mr. Roper was being redundant when he wrote, “put our hope in the Lord” for that sounds like another way to say “rely on”.  But if that wasn’t his intention, then I must dig a little deeper to understand what this “putting my hope in the Lord” is all about.  “Surrender,” interestingly enough, does not appear in the King James Version of scripture. The dictionary definition means to give up to an adversary.  So why would Hannah use the word “surrender” when referring to this Isaiah 40 passage?  God is not our adversary.  As I ask this question I suddenly understand.  We are to give up fighting the adversary ourselves. Nowhere in the New Testament are we told to fight evil.  Instead, we are to flee to God, taking refuge in Him because the battle has already been won for us who are hid in Christ.  We are merely to flee and to trust.  But we must first surrender the battle to Him by accepting Christ as our Victory!

“For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that overcomes the world, our faith.  Who is it that overcomes the world but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” 1 John 5:4, 5