August 28

“Our friend may love us and tell us so and give us continual proof, but unless we believe in their love we shall never really perceive it or possess it.  Faith is necessary to the possession of human love, and faith is equally necessary for the possession of divine love.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 8/27

Hannah’s words this morning are showing me just how intrinsic my lack of trust is.  Perhaps it is due to the chaotic childhood I had.  I could not depend on any of the adults in my life. My father was an alcoholic who would have periods of soberness.  My mother gave all her attention to him and my younger brother.  Besides all that, we moved often.  Except for 10th and 11th grades, I was in a different school every year after fourth grade. It’s obvious I learned early on to depend only on myself.  Even though I came to Christ by age eight, I was never discipled and therefore did not understand the role of the Holy Spirit.  It was not until I was 28 that I began to become aware of Him in me and found out that He was Who would change me into His likeness—not me.  Then I spent the next 20 years learning to give back this control to Him.  The last five years have been my rebellion years.   I can see I’m making progress!  It’s obvious that Self knows its time is nearly up.  I feel on the brink of giving my life entirely to God and I’m excited.  I just hope it doesn’t take another 20 years to complete it! 

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for God is at work in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”  Philippians 2:12, 13