March 9

“To be perfect [see Matthew 5:44-48] is to love your enemies for only by loving your enemies can you remove an inner source of conflict which prevents inner peace.....No man hates others without a sense of guilt, for in hating others he projects on them a secret unknown hatred for himself.”  Howard H. Brinton (1948), Daily Readings from Quaker Writings, 3/9

As I contemplate Howard Brinton’s words I gain understanding of my human fleshly mind vs. my spiritual mind--the redeemed self.  I have always found myself drawn to the passages in scripture that speak of removing guilt or cleansing our conscience.  I believe man often is not aware of just how deeply seated his sense of guilt is.  He does everything he can to avoid experiencing this guilt, sometimes with great bravado.  These people are quite obvious.  But what about the rest of us who fall into the temptation of being self-righteous.  It is often so subtle we honestly believe our actions are not our attempt to “be OK” outside of God’s redeeming Love but rather our attempt to explain ourselves.  I am writing these words to myself.  I was supposed to write this devotional yesterday.  If I had, I would not have written it from this point of view because my self-righteous episode would not have happened yet.  God even uses my own procrastination to my benefit when I am willing to come to Him with an open heart.  Thank you Lord, for that assurance.

“By this we shall know that we are of the truth, and reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.  Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.”  1 John 3: 19-22

February 29

“A mark of spiritual maturity is a willingness to sacrifice personal comfort in order to strengthen other believers.  Paul urges Christians to pursue only activities that promote peace and behavior that builds up others.” 

H. Blackaby, Experiencing God Day-by-Day, 2/29

In yesterday’s reading Eugenia spoke about losing awareness of those around us because we’re so wrapped up in ourselves.  Today Blackaby is showing me why it matters so much that I deal with my guilt.  I’ve always known that guilt is a killer.  I know this first hand because it’s why my father took his own life.  The truth is anyone who still holds onto their guilt is taking their own life, albeit slowly.  This erosion of our worth only serves to poison those around us as well because it severely “limits the Holy One of Israel” as Eugenia points out.  We are called to be salt and light in this world--reconcilers and encouragers. If we are so focused on ourselves, we never see the pain of others nor are we available to be used by God. May we never neglect this responsibility!  But glory be unto God, it is by the grace of God we are enabled to be a blessing to others through the power of our resurrected Lord.

“For once you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light.”  Ephesians 5:8

January 2

“Let us accustom ourselves to pity the faults of men and to be truly sorry for them and then we shall take no pleasure in publishing them.  This common humanity requires of us, considering the great infirmities of human nature, and that we ourselves also are liable to be tempted.”  William Crouch to his children, Daily Readings from Quaker Writings footnote:  Wm. Crouch: Day by Day: Being a Compilation from the Writings of Ancient and Modern Friends, Wm. H. Chase, Dennis Bros. Auburn, NY, 1869 p. 26)

This one statement may have the greatest effect on me I think because of the acknowledgment I felt upon reading it.  It was both an indictment and a desire.  An indictment because of the guilt I carry and a desire because of the guilt I carry.  It is interesting that I should write that both are motivated by guilt.  I had not planned on doing so, but in desiring to write strictly from my heart, this is what appeared.  I am guilty of “publishing” other’s faults.  I do this, of course, in order to “make my case” against them as I “defend” my own behavior.  My desire not to do this any longer is what is more important to me.  Wanting to stop a bad behavior because it makes me feel guilty is human, but wanting to stop a bad behavior because I desire to is quite another.  This desire can only be born of God in me--the desire to do what is right and to be more pleasing to God.  This is the kind of guilt that lifts me up and moves me forward.  This is why I believe that God does in fact use the desires of our hearts to grow us up into Him.  It is how He directs us and reveals His Will to us.  

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”  Matthew 5:8