October 6

“God is every minute yearning to fill us with Himself.  But He waits until we see our utter helplessness.  He waits for the time of our true hungering and thirsting after righteousness.”  Eugenia Price, S.P.S., 9/22

Why does He have to wait until then?  I’m trying to lose an extra 20 pounds that I do not need.  If I lose it, I will weigh what I weighed two years ago when I thought I was fat.  Now I don’t think I was so fat at that weight.  I think once I get there I’m going to be content with that weight.  In the meantime I’m dealing with the desire to eat when I’m not hungry.  Since I’m eating when I’m no longer hungry, there’s nothing to tell me to stop--like feeling full.  I think this principal applies to being filled with God Himself.  If my desire to be filled with God isn’t because I’m empty, the hunger is being caused by something else.  Only true emptiness of self causes us to hunger and thirst after God.  Just like my “grazing” when I’m bored and near the kitchen is an attempt to satisfy my boredom rather than any hunger, my ego’s hunger will never lead me to God because it does not want to be filled with God Himself.  It may want what God has to offer--peace, love, security--but never God Himself.  To do so would mean it could no longer sit on the throne of my life.  So as I seek to lose this extra weight, I will remind myself that it is in hungering and thirsting after righteousness--and not filling myself with junk food--that I will receive all that I could possibly need or want--God Himself.

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst.’”  John 6:35