June 11

“Perhaps we do not like our providential surroundings...we are always thinking we could be better Christians if only our circumstances were different...Our souls ‘loathe the light food’ of God’s providing; and we question, as the Israelites did, whether God is really able to provide the spiritual food necessary for us in the ‘wilderness’ where He has placed us.  The ‘wrath of God’ is only another name for the inevitable results of our own bad actions.  God’s wrath is never, as human wrath generally is, an arbitrary condition of His mind, resulting from His displeasure at being crossed.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 6/11

These words have prompted me to write a letter to a friend with whom I’ve not spoken in three months.  I confessed to her that the rift that I created was because of this very thing---my thinking I needed a friend who was more spiritual.  I wrote her, “I felt I needed you to be on the same page in order to help me stay on the page.”  I’d taken matters into my own hands and tried to convince her along in my own strength.  I did not leave it to God.  Yes, I’d spoken the Truth to her, but “I” was in it.  After three months of no communication I realize now that if God had been in it, it would have born some fruit by now.  “But it has,” are the words coming into my mind right now.  The fruit has been in my life, though.  God has used it to show me the results of my taking matters into my own hands.  I’ve had to suffer the results--the guilty feelings of causing my friend to feel betrayed.  In addition, I’ve not had a friend these past three months with whom to share all the troubles I’ve gone through.  God, I once again hand my spiritual growth over to You.  I shall partake of whatever you give me.

“...yet not what I will, but what thou wilt.” Mark 14:36b