December 21

“Lives that we are apt to call wasted, which have ended in sorrow and humiliation, are not really wasted, but are simply being stripped of that which separated them from the Lord and from a perfect conformity to his likeness.  That man is happy who goes into the next world emptied of self, no matter how painful the humbling may have been.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, Daily Secrets, 12/11

I believe this was the purpose of my mother’s illness.  She spoke the words of a believer, but her rebellion against God was just under the surface.  I could see it from time to time.  It was subtle, but it was there.  It wasn’t until she came to live with me so I could take care of her that it became more obvious.  As she resisted having to let go of her former life, what she really believed began to show to the point that one day she railed that she wasn’t interested in “sitting on the grass in heaven singing hymns all day!”  It shocked me on two fronts--that she felt that way about God after espousing His praises for years and that she had that view of heaven.  As the months wore on and she was near the end of her life I had a friend who cared enough to give of her time to my mother.  One day while she was visiting her and I was in the kitchen preparing supper, this friend prayed with my mother.  It wasn’t until after her death two weeks later that my friend wrote me a letter telling me about that prayer.  In it my mother had humbled herself and accepted what was happening to her.  No wonder, as I stood by her bed that last morning and told her Jesus was waiting for her, she breathed one last breath and let go.

“And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”  John 14:3