May 27

“If you have ever loved anyone enough to find sacrifice and service on his or her behalf a joy; if a whole-souled abandonment of your will to the will of another has ever gleamed across you as a blessed and longed-for privilege or as a precious reality, then, by all the tender, longing love of Christ, I entreat you to let it be so toward, Him.”  Hannah Whitall Smith, God is Enough, 5/26

As I read Hannah’s words I’m searching my heart for the abandonment she speaks of.  Have I ever felt that way toward another person?  Honestly, I can say I’ve only felt that a few times---when I first fell in love with my husband, when my children were born, when my father was at his most helplessness, and when my mother first became terminally ill.  That seems to be one of my character traits....I start out well, but fizzle out when expectations set in.  Lord, this is one of those things I need to have worked out of me.  I’m obviously expecting something in return for my love and when I don’t get it the way I want it to be given to me, my love becomes shallow.  While I might be able to say there is “sacrifice and service on their behalf” I cannot say there is joy, and I certainly cannot say it is a whole-souled abandonment of my will.  Once again You are showing me my heart and why I must hand it over to you.  You are the only one who can be totally trusted.  In You I can find no disappointment.  And as I wholly abandon my will to You, You will enable me to sacrifice and to serve whom You desire.

“I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”  Romans 12:1